A Guide to Successful Dating Over 60
Remember when you were in your 20s, and anything above 30 seemed “old”? And now you’re in your 60s, it feels like life has barely begun. You appreciate everything a bit more and you’re wiser about the world and about yourself.
Sometimes, when we get stuck in that 20s mindset, dating over 60 can seem daunting. Expectations might be different, you probably aren’t willing to waste as much time on bad dates, and finding someone who can match with a life you’ve already built can be tricky.
But it’s not all doom and gloom - far from it, in fact. When you’re dating in your 60s, everyone’s a bit more mature and worldly-wise. There are fewer “games” to play, you generally know what you want from life and from a partner, and you’ve got more disposable income to spend on fun and interesting activities.
Here are some of our tips for dating in your 60s. And remember, if dating is something you haven’t done for a few decades, our matchmaking service is here for you.
Find Your Independence First
You may be single now because you’ve gone through a divorce or a bereavement. In both cases, it’s very important to first give yourself the time to grieve and then rebuild your life as a single person - a whole person and not ‘half’ of a couple. This takes time and looks different for everyone, but it’s important for successful dating. Learning who you are as a single person will give you needed clarity and direction, and help you understand what you want from yourself, any future partner, and from the rest of your life.
Start With A Simple Location
Your first date doesn’t have to include all the bells and whistles. A coffee at your favourite cafe is a great place to start. It’s nice and neutral, there are plenty of opportunities to talk, and you’re not committed to a full three-course meal if things start to go south. If the date isn’t working out, you can finish your coffee and say your goodbyes. If, on the other hand, it goes well, you can stay for more drinks and cake, or even move on to another location.
Be Yourself
Whether that’s in the way you dress or the things you like to do, being yourself is vital. That’s true for all ages, but in your 20s you’ve got a bit more time to figure it out and make changes. Why waste your 60s and beyond, being someone you’re not? If you have to adapt or completely change who you are for a partner, then the simple answer is that you are not compatible. That’s one way using a matchmaking service like Bowes-Lyon can really help: we get to know you and all your potential dates first so that we can make great matches and save you time.
Discuss Future Plans
If you’re over 60, you already be retired, or will be soon. What are you looking forward to doing with your retirement? Do you want to travel the world? Are you looking forward to sitting back and relaxing? Will you be taking on lots of volunteering, or occasional consulting work to keep you busy?
Your retirement plans will form a big part of your relationship going forward, so it’s important that they complement your date’s aspirations. If you want to jetset, and your date would rather spend days near home in the local pub, then you might not be compatible. Unless, of course, you also both highly value independent time and are happy to lead semi-separate lives.
Intimacy Might Look Different
Our feelings towards intimacy can change as we get older. Perhaps hand-holding is most precious to you, or perhaps you’re more sexually active than you were when you were younger. Whatever intimacy is for you now, at this age, is okay. As casual dates turn into a relationship, just make sure to communicate your wishes to your partner to make sure that you’re both on the same page.
Consider Your Families
If you and/or your date both have families, how involved are you all going to be? You’re both likely to have grown-up children, as well as some grandchildren, so how do you expect life together will look with two sets of families in the picture?
Alternatively, you might not have any children (or vice versa). If your date does, how will that work? Early on in the dating process, these kinds of considerations may seem a bit preemptive, but discussing families will help you get to know one another and understand how a future relationship might look. Will it suit you both?
Of course, you may also want to consider how your family feels about you dating, too. But our advice is to date (or not) based on your own preferences, not those of your children.
Don’t Move Too Quickly
In our experience, our clients aged 60+ tend to move from dating to a relationship to marriage more quickly than younger people, which is absolutely fine. As we’ve already said, at this age you’re more likely to know what you want and so can make big changes more quickly.
However, don’t fall into the trap of moving quickly just because you think you should. It’s okay to take your time and to enjoy the dating experience for itself. You can still have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship, without marriage or living together - you can make the rules!
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Dating in your 60s can be a completely new and different experience. Think of it as exciting, rather than scary, and you’ll be amazed at how much fun it can be. Meeting new people at a different stage of your life has many rewards. Our many happy 60 yr+ members, in successful relationships, describe it as ‘a second chance at life’ and we encourage that you grab it with both hands!
If you’re ready to take the next step and find a perfect match, get in touch with us now.