Bowes-Lyon Partnership, the professional dating agency in London, is thrilled to be working alongside Francine Kaye, one of the UKs leading relationship experts. As a highly qualified Relationship Coach and Imago Therapist not to mention a revered author, Francine appears regularly on TV, in the press and national magazines. As part of the annual membership, Bowes-Lyon Partnership members receive a consultation with Francine who helps individuals to identify what they are looking for in a partner and supports them to achieve a long term, loving relationship, meaning they are ready to make the very most of their Bowes-Lyon Partnership membership!
The team at Bowes-Lyon Partnership are delighted to share with you Francine’s advice on how to find the perfect man, it’s a ‘must’ read for not only those who are single and looking for a partner but for those who are already in a relationship!
I’ve cracked it and I’m going to let you ladies into the secret. I’ve found the recipe; in fact the exact template to finding and keeping your perfect man.
I was having dinner with a friend (female) and we began discussing how often we see men and women out in restaurants together simply not saying a word for almost the entire meal.
On the other hand you see a couple of women out together and they only ever stop talking long enough to put food in their mouths and take a quick gulp of house red.
So it occurred to us that if we are talking about finding the perfect partner (which we weren’t but it didn’t take long to get round to it) then its ‘Simples’. All we have to do is write down the best qualities of our girlfriends and just use the list to create the qualities we want in our perfect man.
He calls and texts, even when he’s really busy, (so I know he’s thinking about me.). When he knows I’m having a tough time he offers endless sympathy, makes me laugh, never feels he has to find a solution but tells me he is always there for me. He has lots of office gossip and loves discussing it all with me. He adores shopping and going into stores where you can’t afford to buy anything, its ‘just to look’. He’s always thinking up lovely things for us to do together. He always tells me how he feels about everything and what he is thinking. We have really deep and meaningful conversations that come to no specific conclusion. He sends me little cards that are, funny, sensitive and very bonding.
But it’s so frustrating isn’t it? Why can’t a man be more like a woman?
We both came to the conclusion that we’d make wonderful men, (perhaps next time around), and then of course we had to face the truth. Guys, its just not like that for you is it? You just don’t operate that way do you? We needed to be honest. That stuff is the domain of our girlfriends and we have other stuff to do with our boyfriends and partners.
Maybe finding the perfect man is really quite simple but no, we make it hard because we want it to be a certain way with men and it isn’t. So what are we going to do about it?
Firstly we need to be sure what we want to be in a relationship for? What will we give and what are we willing to receive. For the most part it would be useful to accept that a relationship with the opposite sex differs from our same sex relationships? What if we realized that being in an intimate relationship had a far deeper purpose for us.
What if it was this way?
This quote I found by Ven Thich Nhat Hanh seems to sum it all up for me.
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our partners, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming them for what they are not has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason or argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show you understand, then you can love and then, the situation will change.”
Many women know how to grow women. But maybe men are like lettuce. Maybe women need to learn how to grow men, giving them what they need not what we think they need. Maybe then we can receive the benefits. The benefits of a wonderful relationship that’s protective and caring and offers all that manly stuff that our girlfriends simply cannot provide.
Our man may not want to go out with us to buy shoes and come home with a red scarf believing and behaving like he’s had a fun and productive afternoon. That’s what we need our girlfriends for. But treat your man like a lettuce and he will provide you with something that reaches the parts that girlfriends cannot reach.
So, if you want to grow a lettuce but you keep coming up with a cauliflower instead, then go ahead and give me a call. I can help you plant the right seeds to make sure your relationship grow and flourishes. Now is the season for summer love, so plant early!
We’d like to thank Francine for sharing this fabulous advice with us and look forward to bringing more words of wisdom to you soon – stay tuned!
If you’re looking for a professional dating agency and want to benefit from the tailored approach offered at Bowes-Lyon Partnership, then contact us today.